Funny Christmas Quotes

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple


Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson


Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Tom Sims


Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
Funny Christmas quote by John Cleese


Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.
Max Lucado


Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Frank McKinney Hubbard


Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning


Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Xmas quote by Johnny Carson


There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Quotes by Erma Bombeck


Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
Harlan Miller


There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.
W. J. Cameron


Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller


Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
Funny Cristmas quotes


Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Funny Christmas quotes - Norman Vincent Peale


I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Funny quotes


Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Funny Xmas quotes