Funny Christmas Poems

A Puppy's Christmas

It's the day before Christmas
And all through the house
The puppies are squeaking
An old rubber mouse.

The wreath which had merrily
Hung on the door
Is scattered in pieces
All over the floor.

The stockings that hung
In a neat little row
Now boast a hole in
Each one of the toes.

The tree was subjected
To bright-eyed whims,
And now, although splendid,
It's missing some limbs.

I catch them and hold them.
"Be good", I insist.
They lick me, then run off
To see what they've missed.

And now as I watch them
The thought comes to me,
That their's is the spirit
That Christmas should be.

Should children and puppies
Yet show us the way,
And teach us the joy
That should come with this day?

Could they bring the message
That's written above,
And tell us that, most of all
Christmas is love.



Dear Santa
Funny Christmas Poems by Robyn Scott

All I want for Christmas is a pair of nice young men,
A football team . League or Union . I don't mind,
A determined man with plenty of gysm,
Broad shoulders. Hairy chest. And a tight behind.

Dear Santa,

I promise that I won't hurt them,
I just have a few games I'd like to play,
They'll be well fed and cared for. Truly appreciated,
And I'll return them to you on New Year's Day.

But Dear Santa,

If you can't provide any of the above,
Dear Santa. You've got such a kindly face,
Just harness up your reindeer to your sleigh Dear,
And drop on over . I'll be waiting at my place.



We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Funny Xmas Poems

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas,

And a Happy New Year!

We want some figgy pudding,

We want some figgy pudding,

We want some figgy pudding,

And a cup of good cheer!



Twas The Month After Christmas
Christmas Funny poems

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls,
The bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never say,
"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"



Greetings To The World
Funny poem By Paul Curtis

“Happy Christmas” is what I chose to say
But other greetings are used for the day
By one and all during the festive season
And foreign languages are the reason
There's "Frolyke Kerstfeest" or "Joyoo Noel"
"Felleeth Navidad" even "Glaydlig Yool"
"Kalla Kristoogenna", "Boo-on Natarlee"
"Boas Festas" or "Sheng Dan Kwhy Lee"
You could say "Frerlicker Vine-akten"
Or maybe "Roshdesrom Kristovim" then
So you can say it in very many ways
But please never say "Happy Holidays"