Funny Christmas Jokes

Who delivers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !


What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !


How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !


Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !


Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.


Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.


Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
Because it's to far to walk.


If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe!


Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.


What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Sandy Claws.


What's a good holiday tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.


What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!


How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"


What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
It was wound up already.


Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem. - Funny Christmas Joke


Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!


Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ?
Because they both have "Sandy claws" !


Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now that's what you call pot luck!


Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!


What does Father Christmas call his money ?
Iced lolly ? - Funny Christmas jokes


What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !


What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Platform shoes ! - Funny Cristmas jokes


How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick !

Enjoy our Funny Xmas Jokes page!