Funny Christmas

Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.


Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.


Sometimes I get the feelin that if Cristmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.


Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.


I know. I know. People say "It's the thought that counts, not the gift", but couldn't people think a little bigger!


What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.


Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.


Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.


What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.


Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.


Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
Because it's to far to walk.